Because of horses I can never have a normal life. All of that lore that says horses are magical creatures who make everything wonderful is wrong. They have ruined me. Let’s just face it, horses are literally THE WORST!
1. I cluck at the grocery cart and fellow shoppers.
2. I can’t watch a single horse movie without critiquing everything.
This movie actually kills me. Courtesy of Jose Jr Lantin.
3. I have no sense of my personal odor.
4. I count strides between bumps in the road.
5. I compare everything in the cost of horses.
7. I post when I ride my bike.
8. I yell “DOOR” every time I walk through one.
9. I can’t have a single conversation without thinking about how it relates to horses.
10. I only shop at the thrift store.
11. All of my google generated ads are for Dover Saddlery.
12. I silently judge regular people who are now “rocking” equestrian fashion.
13. I just walk away when someone says, “Oh I know how to ride! I go trail riding on my trips to Cancun.”
14. My horse has a dental appointment once every 6 months and I haven’t seen the dentist in over a year.
15. I want to slap people when they try to walk past me on my right side.
16. I feel nothing but horrendous heartbreaks and I am afraid to love anything.
How have horses ruined you? Comment below! And don’t worry, I still love my four legged monster with every part of me! As always please share this post on Facebook, Pintrest, and with family and friends.