Horses Have Ruined Me

Follow and Like:
RSS
Facebook
Facebook
Pinterest
Pinterest
Twitter
Follow by Email
Google+
http://ontfequestrian.com/horses-have-ruined-me/

Because of horses I can never have a normal life. All of that lore that says horses are magical creatures who make everything wonderful is wrong. They have ruined me. Let’s just face it, horses are literally THE WORST!

1. I cluck at the grocery cart and fellow shoppers.

I cluck at other shoppers
It makes my horse go faster… why doesn’t it work on people? Courtesy of Reddit.com

2. I can’t watch a single horse movie without critiquing everything.

This movie actually kills me. Courtesy of Jose Jr Lantin.

3. I have no sense of my personal odor.

No sense of my odor
Sorry general public! Courtesy of Tenor.co

4. I count strides between bumps in the road.

bumps
“Land! 1..2..3…” Courtesy of AFV.com

5. I compare everything in the cost of horses.

ridiculous
“Oh my god $4 for bread! That’s ridiculous! I could buy at least 2 hoof picks for that!” Courtesy of Tenor.co

7. I post when I ride my bike. 

horse-bike
Sometimes I even go up for two, down for one. Courtesy of gfycat.com

8. I yell “DOOR” every time I walk through one. 

At restaurants, movie theaters, and malls
At restaurants, movie theaters, malls…   Courtesy of Reddit.com

9. I can’t have a single conversation without thinking about how it relates to horses.

conversations
…Because this topic is not about horses. Courtesy of arrowofducks.tumblr

10. I only shop at the thrift store. 

So I can spend the rest of my money on custom things for my horse.
So I can spend the rest of my money on custom things for my horse. Courtesy of IdleMindzMEG.tumblr

11. All of my google generated ads are for Dover Saddlery.

....and I click on them.
….and I click on them. Courtesy of Rachgrub.tumblr

12. I silently judge regular people who are now “rocking” equestrian fashion. 

"GURL your tall boots have never seen an arena in their life! Sit Down!"
“GURL your tall boots have never seen an arena in their life!” Courtesy of Reddit.com

13. I just walk away when someone says, “Oh I know how to ride! I go trail riding on my trips to Cancun.”

"You just need to sit down!"
“You just need to sit down!” Courtesy of Tenor.co

14. My horse has a dental appointment once every 6 months and I haven’t seen the dentist in over a year. 

I'm not even joking...
I’m not even joking…   Courtesy of joyzipie.tumblr

15. I want to slap people when they try to walk past me on my right side.

IT'S LEFT TO LEFT!
IT’S LEFT TO LEFT! Courtesy of storkpatrol.tumblr

16. I feel nothing but horrendous heartbreaks and I am afraid to love anything. 

Yeah, Thanks Horses.
Yeah, thanks horses. Courtesy of mrchristianbale.tumblr

How have horses ruined you? Comment below! And don’t worry, I still love my four legged monster with every part of me! As always please share this post on Facebook, Pintrest, and with family and friends. 

Happy Trails,

Signature - Oh No There's Flowers

Follow and Like:
RSS
Facebook
Facebook
Pinterest
Pinterest
Twitter
Follow by Email
Google+
http://ontfequestrian.com/horses-have-ruined-me/

Leave A Reply

* All fields are required