Hoof Hearted – And Other Silly Horse Names

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There is no greater power than naming a living thing. And as it turns out, there is nothing funnier either! Here is a list of my own silly horse names as well as others who didn’t that the whole naming gig too seriously.

WARNING – This article has been rated PG-13 by me, Emily, reader discretion is advised.

1. Ha Ha Ha

Yes, this one is real. The poor race announcer had to go through a full race commentating on “Ha Ha Ha.” Just try not to sound silly when saying this one. Courtesy of Great British Racing.

I wonder if this was his cooler. Courtesy of fbcdn-photos-g-a.akamaihd.net
Courtesy of fbcdn-photos-g-a.akamaihd.net

2. Attention, Shoppers!

This name was submitted to a horse name forum on the Chronicle of the Horse. I have no doubt it gained some chuckles in the show ring. Courtesy of His Greyness, Chronicle of the Horse.

Courtesy of Giphy
Courtesy of Giphy

3. Honey, did you remember to load the dishwasher

Okay, so this may not make it past the character limits, but hey pretty funny making an announcer say this one.

Courtesy of About.com
Courtesy of About.com

4. Panty Raid

Yes, you read it right. There was an actual Thoroughbred named Panty Raid. For all of you Spongebob fans out there, this was all I could think about! Courtesy of Glencrest Farms.

5. While Intoxicated

“And next on course is number 332, riding While Intoxicated.” I can’t be the only one to think of this, but it sure is funny.

Courtesy of Oh No There's Flowers
Courtesy of Oh No There’s Flowers

6. Whatamichoppedliver

Pronounced, “What – am – I – Chopped – Liver” this racehorse name was actually derived from his parents! The sire was Chopper Charlie and the dam was Libber and Onions. Now that is a bad family name. Courtesy of ABCNewsGo.

Courtesy of Recipes Hubs
Courtesy of Recipes Hubs

7. Kidney Stone

“And passing on the inside is KIDNEY STONE!” Would there be anything funnier than a race announcer screaming this?

Courtesy of Giphy
Courtesy of Giphy




8. Sumting Wong

Yes, this horse is real and was named Iowa-bred Horse of the Year and Iowa-bred Older Female for 2015. Courtesy of Shady Bend Thoroughbreds.

Sumting Wong
Courtesy of the Blood Horse

9. ARRRRR

Another real life racehorse some poor announcer had to fit in during a race! Courtesy of Rant Sports.

ARRRRR
Courtesy of Rant Sports

10. Boo Ger

A reader submitted her horse’s name “Boo Ger” to the Chronicle of the Horse. I am in stitches. Courtesy of Tarheelmd007, Chronicle of the Horse.

Leo Head Shot - Oh No There's Flowers
Courtesy of Oh No There’s Flowers

11. Crippling Debt

*Ha* *Ha* *Sob* *Sob* It’s funny, but it kind of hurts.

crippling debt
Courtesy of divorcedmoms.com

12. Your Mother

Go ahead and announce it. I mean…… it’s kind of funny.

Courtesy of Imgur
Courtesy of Imgur

13. Not Today

The perfect name for any unreliable or hot headed show horse.

Courtesy of MTV
Courtesy of MTV

14. My 600 lb. Life

Perfect for absolutely any pony!

Courtesy of Mirror UK
Courtesy of Mirror UK

15. Hoof Hearted

This video contains adult materials in the form of inappropriate puns. I advise reader discretion and hope you enjoy this hilarious video! Courtesy of the Graham Norton Show and BBC One.

16. Oh No There’s Flowers

What can I say? This is my favorite show name of all time. “Next in the ring is rider number 428 riding Oh No … There’s Flowers” It is the perfect name for any amateur owner with a peeky horse or literally any grey welsh pony alive.

Oh No There's Flowers

I am 100% certain that our poor horses have no idea what their show names are, but it doesn’t make giving them one any less amazing. Leo and I want to hear your best horse names, so comment below! And as always please share this post on Facebook, Pintrest, and with family and friends.

Happy Trails,

Signature - Oh No There's Flowers

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4 Responses

  1. Sally
    Reply
    5 November 2016 at 5:09 pm

    My horse’s registered name is no fun, but I call him radar because he has big ears. At shows, I like to be announced as riding ‘Under the Radar’ because it’s funny.

    • ohequestrian
      15 June 2017 at 5:48 am

      I can think of no better use of required show names than this! It’s awesome to have some fun with it!

  2. Tina
    Reply
    6 May 2017 at 6:39 pm

    One of my friend’s horses show name was “Gosh Darn Lance Stop”. We showed in jumpers and it was always hilarious to hear them announced (plus they usually won, so it was appropriate!)

    • ohequestrian
      15 June 2017 at 5:47 am

      That is a level of awesome I hope to be at one day! I love it!

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